Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Phone Call

"And remember Megha I love you so much."
"What how much I love you?"
"Oh, you want a measurement",
"Ok keep walking for thousand years and count the foot steps to know how much I love you."
"Yes Dear! very true as true as the heat of sun, as true as the feeling of pouring rain water."

"I am just waiting for the bus to come."
"I have bought a soft velvety teddy for you. You will like to hug him and pat him on the head. And you know mother has given cake for you. It smells like heaven, sweet and spongee as you always like."

"Its hot here, I can feel sweat running behind my ears. Hey I have also purchased a set of bangles for you. You know they sound like ringing bells, and their touch is scintillating and hard like glass, but they are of metal."

I was listening to this conversation for around 15 minutes. Definitely newly married or lovers on phone. He was sitting just besides me with no care for who is sitting beside. He was engrossed in love talk with his heart.

It was evening. We were waiting for the Pune luxury bus with our bags in our hands. A journey overnight. The unusual thing, in the conversation I found, was the words were different. He was using unusual examples and describing things in a different way.

After he finished his call and we had a chat I got to learn how circumstances changes people. Even your vocabulary and your expression patterns change with a change in your surroundings. His wife was blind and after knowing this, suddenly all the words he has uttered started making sense to me.

This was a thrilling experience for me. I admired him to get so involved in her life that his vocabulary has adopted her life images and thinking patterns smoothly.

Tushar Joshi, Nagpur

(image source: http://flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=36957265&size=m,
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)

Monday, October 30, 2006

Cute Girl

She was a sweet little girl. It was a friendly gathering with some old and new friends. Many children were there playing and shouting to their will.

She was little small, to play with other children. She was playing on her own.

Many people came and tried to pick her up to show love and appreciation. She forcefully rejected all. I was watching people desperate to pick her up and play with her. She was stubborn and not willing to be even touched.

One of our friends picked her up in-spite of her resistance and that resulted in a loud cry followed by intense shouting sequence. He hurriedly kept her down and took his way towards other friends.

After some time I saw in her eyes. She was making some signs with her eyes, closing them and again opening them in a direction. I followed the direction of her mischief. There stood one of our friends Devdatta, leaning on a wall. He was playing with her from a distance. They were making faces to each other. He was showing her many items from her pocket, like keys, handkerchief etc. Suddenly she ran towards him "have you seen my new doll?"
"No I haven’t seen your doll, will you show it to me?" he asked
"Yes, come" said she enthusiastically and took his finger in her little hands and they were out of the room.

I saw faces of many people envying the event just happened. Devdatta was patient and exactly knew what is required to play with a little girl of her age. I though rest of the people just tried to show that they love children without thinking what the girl will like.

One of them even tried forcibly to pick her up just showing how much he loves children. Some also tried to adore her by touching her on cheeks which she resented.

Tushar Joshi, Nagpur

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Rough Work

I was studying with Manish. As most of the students we were surrounded by books and copies. There were fair copies and rough copies. There were some pages and yes we were having a black board for brainstorming at Manish's house. I loved that black board as it proved to be very handy for solving problems.

Today was the first day when I was studying with Manish. He was calling me again and again since last week and it happened to be today that we are group studying.

I saw him writing problems in his copies and even on the black board. His handwriting was very good with decent curves. When I wrote besides his writing it was just like garbage kept besides flowers :(

I noticed one very strange thing in his writing. He wrote all the things very clear as if this were the final write-ups. I mean literally no rough work.

"Hey why are you wasting so much time in making the things complete, after all this is rough work right?" was my innocent question to him.
"Look, I believe that what you always do is what you will do at the final time. This is my character, yaar to write complete. Why should I change it even for rough work." he uttered.
"But you can always write with good handwriting when it is needed, why do this in rough copy and even on the board." I was insisting on my argument.

"Once I read a statement", said he," and it goes like live as if this is the last day of your life. That statement inspired me to always write as if I am writing for the last time. You know this habit has helped me make my handwriting better, I was not such a good writer before."

I was amazed and was thinking can I do this. No, never. I am always in hurry to do things quickly and I know I will write enough good in the examination to get required marks. But I noted this habit as a good habit to have.

Tushar Joshi, Nagpur

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Seek to Understand

"I will not talk to you, I won't even come to visit your house", these were the words uttered by Sandhya. She was really angry and one can see the anger with pain in her eyes. I always envy women for their transparent faces. I know I am generalizing too much, but this has always proved true with me. I have seen all women around me with transparent faces. You can just read the emotions in their eyes. Somehow I always remained away from acquiring that skill and my emotions are only visible to some of my skilled and dear ones.

Sandhya was angry with Appu. Appu is a common friend to Sandhya and me. He was in trouble now because Sandhya was really angry. The reason she was angry is not important now as Appu dissolved the issue flawlessly.

"Don't take it lightly", continued Sandhya, "you cannot get away just by apologizing to me."
Appu said "Sandhya, you are angry with me. You don't want to come to visit my house now. Fine Sandhya, you know what? I am not angry with you, and I will talk to you and I will visit your house. Will you allow this? I want to be with you and understand."
The way Appu said "will you allow this" was so real and dramatic it was as if getting the answer as yes without the listener actually saying yes.

What I admired from the situation was Appu was not defending his position. He was just trying to be with Sandhya when she was angry. I would have defended my position, would have argued with her about who was right and all that. Appu took a different path to be just with her and understand her.

I feel this approach really helped them to solve the problem. It is very important to understand that when someone is angry at you, there is some pain working behind the scenes. The act of expressing anger may be anything and in any way but the truth lies somewhere in that person getting hurt. If we want to eliminate the anger we need to understand the pain and try to eliminate the pain. The first thing to achieve this will be to be with the person who is angry and understand the view point.

Tushar Joshi, Nagpur

Friday, October 27, 2006

Birthday Present

It was my birthday and as expected I got a call from Ashay saying Happy Birthday to me. I always wonder how he can remember so many birthdays. Everyone receives his phone call for birthday and anniversaries.

I accept that I cannot remember birthdays of people except some near and dear ones. How can somebody remember all the birthdays of all the people you meet? This was a mystery for me for many years, until this year. I decided to ask Ashay the secret of his memory.

"Hello Ashay", I called him "can I ask you one question?"
"Yes why not" said he.
"How can you remember so many dates so perfectly?” I asked, “I have heard many people say that Ashay wished me, and he almost remember all the dates for his friends and family." my curiosity was pouring out of my words.
"Friend, you will have to come down to my place to know the secret" he said.
"Do you mean you have a secret?" I was amazed with the answer and also got relieved that Ashay must have something which I can also acquire. "Are you free now? can I come right away?" I couldn’t stop but to ask him this with impatience.
"Certainly friend, come over, we will have a cup of coffee while I show you my secret" Ashay said and we hung the phone.

I was more than happy as I finally asked him how he manages remembering so many dates. Now I was on my way to learn something, or maybe get something by which he does this fabulous thing.

I rang the door bell to find Ashay opening the front door. "So where is the magic lamp you posses which gave you so much magical powers Ashay?" I asked with curiosity.
"This is no magic friend, he said smiling mischievously and took me to the wall where a calendar was hung. He pointed towards that calendar and asked me to observe it.

It was a calendar dated 1998. Old calendar indeed. It was having current month set. I could see all the dates with names on them. There was today’s date with my name on it. Wow Ashay had maintained a calendar since 1998 with names on the birthday dates. What a simple journal to maintain. I was really amazed with the trick he was following since so many years. There were almost most of the dates filled with names. Some dates were having two names joined with equal to symbol.

"What is the equal to symbol Ashay?" I asked.
"Simple", said he "those are the anniversary dates with two names joined with equal to sign.

"One question?", I interrupted him.
"There are too many names on this calendar. Do you really call all of them?"
"No, man" he explained "some are very far now, some have lost the contact. This journal just reminds me of the birthdays and anniversaries of current month. I choose who to call. So the names still in contact and in good faith are chosen to be called."
"And you know what", he continued with enthusiasm, "this journal also reminds me all the names I was in contact with some day or other and also helps me remember and find our past friendships"

What a simple thing to do and yet so powerful I thought after seeing this. The coffee was good. I was imagining the power I will get just by maintaining such a calendar journal with me. All my friends and relatives will be so happy when I will call them on their important dates. The thought itself made me happy and this was a great birthday present for me from Ashay this year.

Tushar Joshi, Nagpur

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Diwali Fire Crackers

I always love visiting Prakash's house. One of the reasons is his book shelves. He has a passion to buy books and one can find many books on different subjects there.

Today again I was just browsing the new comers on the shelf while Prakash was helping his mother in some house hold work. Suddenly I found one book; it was on Mind Mapping, which was labeled "Diwali Crackers 2005".

"Hey Prakash!”, I asked, "what is this Diwali Crackers label doing on this book?"
He was not listening, I assumed as there was no answer to my question. I decided to ask the question when he will be back.

One more book again I found same label "Diwali Crackers 2004". Now I could not stop myself but to search Prakash, and ask him to stop whatever he was doing and answer me first.

I located Prakash in the house and asked again "hey I found two books in your shelf labeled 'Diwali Cracker'".
"There are many" said he" you will find one per year since my childhood."

I just saw towards him as if I am ready, to listen, the whole story. I was assuming there is a story behind this labeling and Prakash took the clue and continued.

"I was fond of book from my childhood", he started "and like others I also used to get funds for buying fire crackers in Diwali festival. Somehow I was not having much interest, in fire crackers unlike all my brother and sisters. I used that money always to buy a good book of my interest and see all my brother and sisters playing with fire crackers for three days while I read that book for many years to come."

"Wow!", said I "but don't you think you missed the pleasure of fire crackers?" was my question after that.

"It never occurred to me that I am being deprived of fire crackers. Since I can buy books of my choice I always felt that playing with fire crackers is burning your money for a very trivial cause. I don’t say everybody should do this, but this is the way it happened all the way and now I have many books with the label Diwali Crackers with the respective year on it".

Today was my day to be amazed and appreciate a hobby worth noticing. I was sure I could not resist playing with crackers. This was a new dimension to the thinking process for me. Just to keep the discussion running I poked him”, so why do you buy sweets and new clothes, you can apply the same logic there also?"

"You are ridiculing me now, I know that, but see", started Prakash again”, you must agree that this is altogether a personal choice. Now when we buy sweets and clothes I feel they are needed. I could not avoid them. Here I try to think about what is absolutely necessary and then I come to conclusion that yes I can keep away with the crackers part of this celebration. This doesn't mean that I have never played with crackers. But spending hundreds of bucks on this luxury item is a no-no for me."

He had a point there and I never argued with him about it again. I started thinking about my hobbies and whether there is any hobby like this which is different than most people do.

Tushar Joshi, Nagpur