Self Singing

I was there just because Abhijeet insisted. That was a nice evening gathering with people of different ages. Some were retired some were students. There were those also who seem to be around my age not a student and not yet retired.

Since many days Abhijeet was pestering me to be involved with this group and be a part of their evening meeting they conduct normally once a month. I was quite hesitant and was hiding away saying “I don’t know anybody there, so how can I get involved suddenly"

"Look! You need to do all the things first in your life. SO take this as the first incident to get involved in a group where I belong and I know you will like them."

So here was I now observing all the others in that room.

"Ok, friends let us start today’s activity", one good looking short haired guy took the lead position and started with these words.

"We have a new friend with us today", he was looking towards me now so others can follow his gaze, and what they eventually did.
"I smiled and lowered my neck so as to make a greeting gesture"
"Dinesh," said the guy showing one hand towards me as if he was presenting me to all.

"Dinesh, I am Radha"
"Dinesh, I am Sudhir"
This went on for all the people present there and all of them uttered my name first and then introduced themselves. It was a weird experience to hear my name again and again from all of them.

"Ok. Now our today’s activity and it is self singing", said Vikas. This was the guy who started the meeting.

"I will explain again for those who have forgotten the things that self singing is singing for self. It should be done by closing your eyes. The song should be anything that comes to your mind as soon as you close your eyes."

"Oh, no I cannot sing", was my immediate reaction and internally I was cursing my self about listening to Abhijeet.

"No, I wont sing in front of all these people", was my strong opinion. I kept it with myself as my number was not the first one.

Radha started singing. She was singing with eyes closed. All listened to her and she was not bad. The strange thing happened when she was in the middle of the song. All people started hooting her, teasing her and laughing at her and talking with each other. This was rude and I felt anger rising in my mind. Radha was still singing as if she was unaware of the surroundings. She finished her song and all clapped for her.

"Dinesh, I know what you may be feeling after seeing what has happened.” said Vikas and continued, "Let me explain the activity in details."

"We have to sing to self, so all of us will start hooting after some time and you have to continue singing as if you have nothing to do with the world. If you can do that the claps are for your self song"

"It doesn’t matter whether you sing good or bad, any way you will be hooted after some time and you have to be honest with yourself to sing a song for self"

That day I sang one song closing my eyes. It was lakadi ki kathi from film masoom. I was real bad in terms of music and tune but when I felt others have started hooting I enjoyed keeping my eyes closed and continue singing.

While returning home I was happy. I don’t know who invented the weird game but it made me happy internally and gave me power to sustain some more days of this hectic world.

Tushar Joshi, Nagpur

(Image courtesy Allan McKenzie)